Hanging On
by Dark Hikari Twilight
Summary: Snape finds out Harry's life isn't as cheerful as he thinks it is. Can he help him? (Not Slash sorry) One Shot


Ok this was a plot bunny again that had to be written hope you enjoy!. I love the relationship between Snape and Harry To some they might seem out of character in this but they aren't.. I'm not turning this into a slash fic no matter how much the lil plot bunnies what me too. ^-^  
  
It was late at night and Severus Snape couldn't sleep. It was a common occurrence with him. In fact after years of it his body was conditioned to work on 3 hours of sleep a night. The rest of the time he spent wondering the halls of Hogwarts usually just to think about his up coming lesson and assure that students were well asleep in their beds. This particular evening had lead him to the top of the castle. He only came up here when he wanted to think deeply normally but to night its just the way his body dragged him. He hadn't expected to run into anyone up there. No one else seemed to like the spot. You could look out and see all of the grounds of Hogwarts from it. It was sad really not many more came up. It was a beautiful sight. One partially lost on him.   
  
This was why when he heard someone else it startled him from his own thoughts. He walked over to find a figure sitting precariously on the edge, staring off into space. His presence was not yet notice. Then he saw an owl sitting next to the figure.   
  
"I hate them. You know that don't you?" said the figure suddenly.  
  
Snape immediately recognized it as a very depressed Harry Potter. It was also clear that the comment was directed at the Owl not him. So he stayed back in the shadows.  
  
"No one knows what it was like for me. Ron pretends but how can he really know? If the Muggles who raised Tom Riddle in that orphanage were 1/10 like what the Dursleys are I understand why he hates Muggles so much. " said Harry.  
  
So this was about Harry's caretakers. Snape hadn't really known much about them except that they were Muggles.   
  
"How can anyone know what its like growing up in a closet. Being treated like your worse then the dirt on your feet. Being repeatedly told that you were the scum of the earth and ungrateful no matter what you did. That was all you were ever told. No one hugged you when you need it and you were beat for crying, because you made to much noise. " said Harry.  
  
So that's what his life had been like? If Snape had only know before....  
  
"And then I get to come here. Its all told to me like a fairy tale. It was the first moment I was happy just knowing I could get away from them. But then I was famous here. I wasn't allowed to be normal. Hell Malfoy wanted to be my friend because of that and Ron wasn't much better at first. I never wanted to be famous but no one understood that. I was like because of my name because of this bloody scar. Not for who I was. I don't think anyone ever did anything to me just because of who I really was." Said Harry.  
  
That hit Snape like a ton of bricks. He was so sure that Harry reveled in his Fame. He would have if he was famous...hell wouldn't anyone? It was the human thing to do. It was so hard to believe that he didn't want what he had. It looked like he tried to get more even.  
  
"I've never allowed to be me to be normal. All hope of it was dashed away again when Voldemort came back. Now because I was about to do away with him the first time he wants to kill me and everyone including Dumbledore seems to believe that I'm the only who can. From dirt to fame to savior. When do I get the "just be your self" or the "Kid" stage? WHEN DAMNIT!" said Harry hitting the side of the wall again. Tears dropping. The owl just coed and rubbed its head against its master.   
  
Snape was almost crying himself. He had the reputation for being a greasy bastard but he did have a heart. The boy had experienced enough pain for a lifetime. He took regret in the fact he had probably caused some of that pain.  
  
"And then there is Snape." Said Harry in and unreadable tone. Snape almost left but he wanted to know what the boy thought of him. "I don't know what to think of him. I can tell he hates me even more then he hates Sirus but he saves my life. I think it so he can torture me more. He reminds me what I really am, keeps me in my place. I guess its good for me. Dirt really should think to highly of its self." Said Harry.  
  
The boy thought he hated him? Wanted him to feel like dirt? That was enterly untrue. He had been tough on him to keep him from getting a big head and going off to get himself killed too easily. He tried to keep him grounded, not make him the ground itself. He wanted to hug the boy and tell him that it wasn't like that.   
  
"I wonder why everyone puts up with me? I'm sure no one really cares about me to much. They've all turned their back at one time or another. Most the damn school during second year. Ron during fourth, Hermione during fifth and most of the other school as well. In fact I think the only person who's opinion of me hasn't changed is Snape. Hell I think Draco is scared stiff of me."  
  
But Harry was wrong Snape's opinion of the boy had changed greatly. No more then in the last 10 minutes he heard his heart felt speech. Things would change that was for sure.   
  
Harry stood up on the ledge causing Snape's heart to raise.  
  
"You know nothing has ever been really easy for me. I want something to be easy. It would be so easy just to jump. It would be like flying for a few minutes then it would all be over. No more anything. I'm sure everyone would miss "Harry Potter" but no one would really miss me." Said Harry has he slipped off the edge.  
  
In an instant Snape was at the ledge and caught the sleeve of Harry's cloak. Startled Harry didn't move. He expected to be dead by now. Snape drug him back over the edge and then set up against the rail.  
  
"Professor." Harry said with questioning eyes.  
  
"You're wrong about a lot of things." Said Snape.  
  
"How long.." said Harry  
  
"Long enough to hear most your speech." Said Snape  
  
Harry hung his head.  
  
"I'm not going to lecture you. That's the last thing you need. But I will tell you what points you have wrong then if you wish to turn yourself into a human pancake I wont stop you." Said Snape   
  
Harry stared at him for an instant. "What do I have wrong." It was almost hope in his eyes.  
  
"First off I don't hate you never did. I did try to keep you in your place I didn't realize anything about your home life and that was a grave error on my part. Your not dirt Harry you're a very gifted student with or with out your name or scar. You are right in saying that no one probably understands what it was like for you growing up so I wont even try with that. And I would miss you. Defiantly not because of your name. I was truly wrong in thinking you wanted your fame but you seem to detest it as much as I do. They should never put the weight of the world on a boy's shoulders no matter what that boy is capable of." Said Snape.  
  
Harry stood and Snape's heart jumped again he was afraid he hadn't gotten through to the boy and he was going to jump but then Harry turned away from the ledge and looked at his teacher. He stuck out his hand and said "thank you.".  
  
Snape sighed with relief and took the hand standing up.  
  
"Your not going to make me go back to the dorm are you? I can't sleep yet." Said Harry.  
  
"Well I really should but after that I don't think I'm sleeping much tonight either. Care to join me in the kitchen? I need some tea." Said Snape.  
  
Harry looked up at his potion's master and saw concern their. True concern for the person he was not everything that came with it. It felt really good. Upon arriving at the kitchen Dobby greated Harry then hid behind him when he saw Snape.  
  
"Its alright Dobby. I'm not in trouble, I'm here with him. Can you get us to cups of tea?" said Harry to the elf.  
  
"Yes Mr. Harry Potter Sir." Said Dobby running off to help them.   
  
"Does good to have a friend in the kitchen?" Said Snape  
  
"Sometimes. I'll tell you something if you promise not to get mad." Said Harry.  
  
"I doubt I'm going to punish you anytime to night." Said Snape.  
  
"Not me Dobby." Said Harry  
  
"Why would I punish a house elf? One that isn't even mine?" said Snape  
  
"Just promise." Said Harry.  
  
"Fine."   
  
"Well remember in 4th year when you thought I stole the gillweed from your storage?" said Harry.  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Well I didn't even know gillweed was what I needed. I had spent the night in the library and come up empty handed. Dobby on the other hand had been given a clue by Couch and broke in and got it giving it to me." Said Harry.  
  
"So you weren't the on to do it. Hmm interesting but I do keep promises. Anything else I should know about. Now that we are being honest." Said Snape?  
  
"Well lets just say I personally have never broken into your office." Said Harry.  
  
"Ah but you know people who have." Said Snape.  
  
"Well I've got a pretty good indication that's what they did." Said Harry.  
  
"I'll leave it at that." Said Snape.  
  
"Thank you." Said Harry.  
  
"Its all right."   
  
Harry felt odd. Now that he was talking to Snape like this he felt relaxed. It was like he was allowed to be himself. And he was very glad now that he had been caught.  
  
"What were you doing up their anyway?" said Harry  
  
"I honestly don't know. I go up there sometimes when I really need to think hard about something but I didn't tonight. I was just kind of lead." Said Snape looking down at his coffee.  
  
"Well what ever the reason I'm greatful to you. I know I've never really told you that about any of the times you've saved me from first year on but I am." Said Harry with a yawn.  
  
"Maybe you should go back to bed now." said Snape.  
  
"Yeah I'm starting to get tired." Said Harry.  
  
"Look if you ever need to talk to someone other then an owl you can ask me." Said Snape.   
  
It felt as odd for Snape as it did for Harry. Snape had never been in a position where he could offer a student something like that and Harry had never been allowed to talk as himself and not "Harry Potter".  
  
"Thank you again" said Harry as he walked off toward the Gryffindor dorms.  
  
"What on earth have you gotten yourself into Serevus?" Said Snape to himself as he made his way to the Dungeons to get his dose of 3 hours of sleep.  
  
Ok this could be a one time chapter story or it could be more. If it is more it will take a while to update though.......plz review! 


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